This is something I relate to very closely. Although the pressure I experienced growing up to succeed was and tends to still be accepted as the norm for first/second-generation Asians, I feel like it affected me similarly. At this point, no one else is telling me that failure is unacceptable except the voices in my own head telling me how much I suck. (Similar to your story, my mother called a parent-teacher conference for my getting a 93% on a math test once.)
I don't know if it helps, but I constantly just have to tell myself to loosen up. Que sera, sera. It's not the end of the world if I do poorly on a test, if I fail, or even if I'm kicked out of my studies. There's always something else out there. My goal now is to just be able to be happy with myself. Like you said, being satisfied with yourself is the most important of all...
But since validation from other people is always great, let me just say again that you are a stellar writer and roleplayer. It's always a joy to play and plot with you. You have great ideas, and it's so much fun to be able to be your writing partner and friend. =)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2012-01-10 02:02 am (UTC)I don't know if it helps, but I constantly just have to tell myself to loosen up. Que sera, sera. It's not the end of the world if I do poorly on a test, if I fail, or even if I'm kicked out of my studies. There's always something else out there. My goal now is to just be able to be happy with myself. Like you said, being satisfied with yourself is the most important of all...
But since validation from other people is always great, let me just say again that you are a stellar writer and roleplayer. It's always a joy to play and plot with you. You have great ideas, and it's so much fun to be able to be your writing partner and friend. =)